Out of everything bad comes something good. Don't misconstrue this statement. I would never choose to have cancer; however, now that it is behind me, I can say that my life is of better quality because of it.

My wife and I had, at the time my cancer was diagnosed, what we thought was a wonderful marriage of thirty-one years. Now it is even better and more fulfilling, because of the experiences we shared, the times we thought our days together were limited, the realization that we can never take each other physically or spiritually for granted, and the idea that we are together sharing our common goal of working to help the next person afflicted with cancer.

My relationship with each of my three daughters and my sons-in-law is more meaningful. Possibly it is because they were given an opportunity to show and prove their devotion and caring that we mutually treasure every moment together. Our Sunday evening family dinners were routine and enjoyable. Now they are an occasion with a lot more meaning and gratitude for being together. The weekly pool games with my sons-in-law and my brother Leon are now missed only for the most compelling of reasons.

Every day is lived to the fullest. I appreciate everything, and I no longer take one single thing for granted. Maybe my senses have become more acute. The simple pleasure of enjoying a good steak is an event, as is the thrill of seeing the leaves change color in the fall, holding and being with each of my grandchildren, ordering a new car, or watching a good mystery on television. Life is good.

So what conclusions can I reach from my experiences that can be applicable and helpful to you? First, don't feel that, because cancer is so prevalent, it is going to attack you. While statistics say that the lifetime risk of developing cancer in the United States is one in two for men, and one in three for women, you are not a statistic, you are a person. If you even give a thought to cancer, remember, more people don't get cancer than do, and if you are one of the relatively few people who do, your chances of beating it or controlling it are good. Because of constant advances in medicine, your odds are even better at the time you read this than they were when I wrote it.

According to Dr. Vincent T. DeVita, Jr., former Director of the National Cancer Institute, there were fewer than one hundred oncologists in the United States in 1970. Today there are in excess of 8,000. This gives an indication of how rapidly advances in the treatment of cancer are being made.

Some people believe that cancer is caused by the mind. We know statistically that when a traumatic event, such as the loss of a loved one, retirement, business failure, et cetera, occurs, the incidence of cancer rises dramatically. Logically, it is therefore safe to assume that worrying about cancer could be a factor in bringing it on. That is not to say it would, just that it possibly could.

I believe that getting cancer is not a simple, single action. My father smoked until he died at age ninety-five, and he did not have cancer. On the other hand, I smoked and did get lung cancer. Therefore, I personally believe that it takes a combination of two things to produce cancer: it takes the carcinogen, or cancer-causing agent, such as cigarettes, along with the trauma.

Therefore, having never been afflicted with cancer, if you could possibly control your thought processes, you could be helping yourself to avoid getting cancer.

In past years, I have noticed through phone calls and patients appearing before our Panel that more tumors were discovered through routine physical examinations or self-examinations than any other source. I cannot stress strongly enough the importance of having regular checkups and following any advice that your physician may give you about self-examination.

If you feel an ache or a pain or notice a lump, don't assume that you have cancer. See your doctor promptly, explain your fears, and take his word if it is not cancer. Pin down what it is, what the treatment is and how long before it will be better. If things proceed as he indicated, your mind should be at ease. My being misdiagnosed by two doctors is more the exception than the rule, so don't panic about doctors.

Never compare your symptoms with those of anyone else; you are an individual and only your doctor can properly tell you what your symptoms mean. I have had people call telling me that they had the same exact pain in their shoulder and arm as I did. So, they are sure that they have the same type of cancer that I did, even though their doctors assure them they do not. As it was pointed out earlier, every case of cancer, like a fingerprint, is unique. Once a doctor has told you that it is malignant or may be malignant, make up your mind right then and there that you are going to do everything within your power to beat it. The first thing this means is to never look back. Don't ever ask, "Why didn't the doctor discover this before?" or "Why didn't I do something last month when I first noticed it?" or "Why did my spouse allow me to smoke?" or, or, or-. Every individual has a limited amount of energy. Don't waste any of it looking back. Rather, direct this valuable energy into positive action of prompt, proper and thorough treatment. Do everything possible from this moment on, so that you will never be able to look back and say, "I wish I would have . . ." If any one factor is critical, it is the need for prompt action. As was said, many people learn of their cancer through a routine physical examination. They are probably feeling fairly healthy. It is so easy to procrastinate when nothing really bothers you. You feel exactly the same as you did an hour before, when you walked into the doctor's office. It is difficult to translate those three little words "It is malignant" into a disease that is potentially lethal.

Cancer will never be as treatable as it is today. At some point in the future, it is probably not treatable. Whether this point is one year from now, one month from now, or tomorrow, nobody knows. At any rate, it can only possibly do damage to postpone treatment. Find the proper doctor to manage your treatment today. If he suggests additional tests, take them as soon as they can be scheduled. When he suggests a specific treatment, start that treatment that day. A day lost here and there could mean the difference between success and failure in treating cancer.

At this point, I would like to urge doctors to consider their obligation to their patients in regard to complete truthfulness when telling the patient that he has cancer. I will never fault a doctor for being totally honest with the patient. I will always disagree with the rare doctor who confuses honesty with a desire to play God. Any doctor who says that it is untreatable is in reality saying that he, personally, does not know the proper treatment. There is no way he could conceivably know what every cancer center in America, or in the world, could concurrently be doing with that type of cancer. I have no objection to a doctor saying that he, personally, does not know the proper treatment, or even to his saying that he has personally never seen anyone beat this particular type. However, he will be glad to refer the patient to someone more knowledgeable or make phone calls in connection with this.

Any doctor who tells a patient that he has three to six months to live or gives him any time limit is, in fact, trying to play God. If he wants to impress the patient with his knowledge of statistics, he is welcome to accurately quote statistics. Along with this he should, in all honesty, explain to that patient that the patient is not a statistic. Statistics are composed of large masses of people discovering the disease over a period of time prior to the present by all possible means, in all possible stages and taking treatment in all possible ways, including failing to take treatments. These statistics can serve only as a guideline; they are not applicable to any individual. For no other reason, an individual's prognosis would vary with his desire to live.

I would like to urge the doctors also to consider the state of mind a patient is in when he breaks the news. It is so important to tell the complete truth but to tell it in a gentle and kind way without destroying hope.

Hope-a very little word with so much meaning behind it! I lived for five days without hope, and I want to go on record as saying that my life, during those five days, was far worse than at any time during the "horrible" ordeal of tests or treatments.

While we are on the subject of hope, let us discuss the idea of hope being partly responsible for the successful treatment of cancer. There are two possibilities. Hope will extend the number of days a person has to live or it will not.

For the sake of discussion, let us assume that hope will not increase the quantity of life. There is no question in anyone's mind that hope will improve the quality of life. If a person has only so many days to live on this earth, there is no question that those days with a better quality are preferable to the same number of days with poor quality. Furthermore, no one could maintain that a better quality of life could possibly shorten the number of days. To the contrary, it is not only possible, but probable, that an improved quality of life could and would cause an improved quantity of life.

Therefore, when a doctor takes hope away from a patient, he is destroying the patient. When a doctor, in all honesty, gives genuine hope, not false hope, to a patient, he is improving the quality of his life, giving him a reason and a desire to fight for his life and probably extending the quantity of time.

On the subject of total honesty, a criticism I have of a few doctors is that they tell their patient what they believe the patient wants to hear rather than the complete truth. For example, a surgeon who says "I got it all out" can honestly only mean he got out what he could see. One million cancer cells, being the size of the head of a pin and floating easily in the bloodstream or the lymph system, could be lodged in parts of the body never investigated by the surgeon.

Also, complete honesty cannot be present with any doctor who would treat a cancer patient without first completing all possible diagnostic tests available today.

In a memorandum by the National Cancer Institute dated October 23, 1981, entitled Community Clinic Oncology Program, it states, "... less than 12 percent of patients presenting with any given malignant disease problem would be required as protocol entries to meet experimental program needs." This is referring to the selection of patients for whom there is no known standard successful therapy to be used in the "development of research strategies and procedures." Considering this statement further, it would indicate that there is a standard, proven, "successful," known therapy for over 88 percent of all cancers. Since this means there is a proven method of treatment for better than seven out of eight newly diagnosed patients, make every effort to locate the physician whose knowledge includes this proven therapy.

It is very important for an individual to become intimately involved with his treatment. If you break your leg, it will mend itself in so many days. If you catch a cold, it will generally last seven days no matter what medication you take. In the case of cancer, it is so complex, with so many possible combinations of treatments, that there is no way to sit back and expect it to go away by itself. While there are numerous cases of documented spontaneous remission-that is, the tumor disappearing without any ostensible treatment-it is so rare that an individual would be foolish to put all his hope in this when there are other options available. Get involved. Read all there is to read about your particular type of cancer. Ask questions. Understand everything your doctor is planning to do and why. Augment this with psychotherapy, diet, prayer, vitamins, and anything else your doctor says will not harm you. Make it a point to find people who have been successfully treated for the same kind of cancer. Listen to what they say.

Remember, your single goal is to try to beat cancer. Don't worry about anything or anyone. Be selfish. Do not harbor your fears or your thoughts and allow them to fester inside you. Talk openly about your thoughts and feelings to your loved ones and friends. This not only will help you but will help them feel comfortable, needed, and part of your recovery process. The word was openly, not incessantly. It's one thing to discuss, unload your pent-up emotions and put others at ease. It is another thing to bore people with unnecessary gory details.

From our Cancer Treatment Panel, we found that probably the greatest single problem in cancer treatment is the failure of communication between doctor and patient. This is not a single-edged knife, but a double-edged sword. It is very easy for the patient to say the doctor never told him, or why didn't the doctor tell him. In this particular situation, I can see the doctor's problem. He does not want to burden the patient with unnecessary details; he does not desire to dwell on possibilities and may assume that the patient already has the knowledge. On the other hand, I have been brought up to believe that there is no such thing as a bad question. There can only be bad answers. If there is anything you want to know about your illness, there can be no reason for you not to ask your doctor. Usually the doctor is only too happy to answer any question with a full explanation.

Before seeing your doctor, take a pencil and paper and list every question for which you would like an answer. Write down whatever bothers or troubles you. If his answer is not perfectly clear to you, keep asking until you understand thoroughly. I have yet to meet the doctor who did not prefer it this way. I would not want a doctor treating me who would not or could not answer my questions.

There is a famous quote, "The worst thing we have to fear is fear itself." For cancer, I would change it to, "The worst thing we have to fear is the unknown." When I saw people with red lines all over them or saw the size of the radiation equipment, I was scared to death. After my first treatment, realizing it hurt no more than getting my picture taken, I looked forward to continued treatment. When something worries you, talk to someone who has already been through it or talk to your doctor. Doing this often can save you a great deal of unnecessary apprehension and fear. Worry is like a rocking chair; it keeps you busy but gets you nowhere.

One of the common worries we hear a great deal about is the potential negative side effects or after effects of various treatments. This can be broken down into numerous areas. First is the person who says he will not take radiation therapy, because his grandfather was severely burned. The strides made in treatments over the years make a science today of what was trial and error. The person refusing chemotherapy because of possible future heart problems does not realize that scientists know exactly how much of a particular drug a person can tolerate without any adverse effects.

Then there is always the story that sells newspapers about the bad effects of one treatment or another. Remember, there are 5 million Americans with a history of cancer walking around today who have been cured of cancer. Maybe those articles talk about a doctor giving a damaging drug for no good reason or for the sake of money. Don't deny yourself a chance to live because of negative publicity or horror stories. Be certain you get a doctor who is capable and interested in successfully treating you.

A middle-aged lady came before the Cancer Treatment Panel with a lymphoma involving her groin and abdomen. After a lengthy review of her case, the panel told her she could be very adequately treated with an excellent chance of obtaining a good remission by taking a pill a day. They further assured her that this pill would be tolerated as easily as if she had taken an aspirin. She asked if this treatment was called chemotherapy and when answered in the affirmative, she very flatly and defiantly said that under no circumstances would she submit to chemotherapy. She had read a great deal of recent adverse publicity and would not allow her body to be abused by drugs. She had no objection to taking an aspirin or "standard medicines," but chemotherapy- absolutely not.

The doctors patiently reiterated that this pill would most likely not cause her any uncomfortable symptoms, and her only alternative was to allow the lymphoma to progress to a fatal stage. The frustrating thing was that the doctors could almost guarantee her complete remission. Just think how many patients would give anything to be given that kind of prognosis. In so many cases, cure cannot be discussed, just hoped for, but rarely guaranteed. After a great deal of compassionate pleading, she finally agreed to take the pill and live. It is a shame to think how a carelessly written article could cost a human life. I have hopes that in the future, newspapers will be more conscientious in their selection of articles and check out the authenticity of the connotation as well as the denotation.

While we are on the subject, be certain that the doctor prescribing your treatment is an oncologist. If you want the treatment given by your family doctor or anyone else, that's fine, as long as it is approved by an oncologist-a doctor who has been trained and board certified in the treatment of cancer. Another reason why an oncologist, or any doctor involved in the treatment of cancer, is so important is that you need a doctor who will treat a whole person, not just a disease. There is no point in curing the cancer and killing the patient, nor is there any advantage in treating the cancer more aggressively than needed and doing unnecessary damage.

If your doctor even hints that he does not want a second opinion before treating you for cancer, I would strongly urge you to have nothing to do with him. A dedicated and conscientious cancer doctor will concur with your obtaining a second opinion prior to treatment. The oath of Hippocrates states, in effect, that nothing shall be done that is not in the best interest of the patient. Supposedly, this is the oath that every doctor is sworn to uphold.

You must have complete faith in the doctor you choose to manage the treatment of your cancer. Remember, you should be selfish. This is your life. Don't let anyone else's ethics affect you. Your ethics are to beat cancer, and nothing else matters. To have the best chance of doing this, you must have a good rapport with your doctor, ability to communicate with him and, above all, absolute confidence in him. If any of these factors is missing, find a doctor who satisfies all three of these requirements.

Whatever this doctor recommends, follow through with it all the way, knowing and sincerely believing that it will successfully treat you. He is giving you these treatments, not just for the sake of giving treatments, but for the sake of getting rid of the cancer.

Don't necessarily look for a "cure" for your cancer. It is possible, with our limited knowledge today, that some cancers cannot be cured. Some can be gotten into complete remission, some into partial remission, and some only controlled. I told a sixty-year-old man that if the doctors could control his cancer for another sixty years, he should settle for that. Don't forget that if the control is only temporary, new treatments are constantly being discovered that could be helpful.

There is a bright side to most cancers. From my understanding, the faster it grows, the easier it is to treat. Most chemotherapy drugs recognize cancer cells only because they are rapidly multiplying.

Just because a cancer has metastasized does not necessarily mean an unfavorable prognosis. Quite often, certain types of cancer are not found until they have metastasized. If the primary tumor can be successfully treated, the metastasis is usually equally treatable. Again, don't compare your situation with anyone else's and don't listen to anyone else's horror stories.

Some people misinterpret the possible pain or weak feeling they get from their treatment. They mistakenly believe their cancer is getting worse. It is perfectly normal and desirable to be affected in this way by certain treatments such as surgery, radiation or chemotherapy. After all, these treatments are trying to kill those weak little cancer cells. The fact that you are always tired or your taste buds have become distorted or certain odors are offensive would more likely indicate that the treatments are working and doing what they are supposed to do.

During your treatment, keep yourself as busy and active as you feel able to, and as your doctor will permit. We had one lady in front of our panel who asked if it was all right for her to continue singing with her church choir. A gentleman wanted to know whether he could continue going to work during chemotherapy. In both cases, the doctors urged these people to engage in all normal activities that they felt physically able to do. If, for the day or two immediately following chemotherapy, they felt weak, it was important to give in and not push. However, after that brief period passed, it was equally important to make yourself live a normal active life.

Don't get impatient, and don't worry "What if?" Communicate with your doctor to get a time frame and thoroughly understand the expected series of feelings and results. Relax and give the treatments a chance to work. If you expect to be on a particular therapy for three months before seeing any results, don't be disappointed to see no results after only thirty days. Know that after the three months there are other options open to you, but do not be concerned about them until you reach that point in time. First things first. Your doctor has selected what he believes is the best and most desirable choice. Have a positive attitude throughout this time, and give this most desirable treatment every chance to work.

Don't look for the easy road, and don't listen to the negatives. Concentrate all your energy into being positive. It isn't always easy, I know, to do this, but it's worth the effort. The easy way-like vitamins, laetril, prayer, and positive attitude, without medical attention-is not always the best way. Your doctor is recommending what he believes is the easiest and best way. If you want to supplement his recommended treatment with anything he says will not harm you or interfere with the treatment, then do it.

If the Lord believed that prayer alone could cure you, then why were so many doctors put on this earth? I am a strong believer in prayer, and I used it constantly during my illness. I believe it should be used in conjunction with proper medical help. Don't forsake any of your options. Use all of them! How lucky we are to be living in a day and age when they are available.

I have learned that when a person thinks he is going to die, he is generally right. To recover takes three conscious decisions:

First, you must decide you want to live. Some people want to die, and cancer is one way out. Make a conscious decision that you want to live.

Second, make a conscious decision that you have absolute and complete faith in your doctor and the fact that he will cure you.

Third, make a conscious decision that the treatment he has recommended is the best possible treatment and that it will cure you. Then, and only then, can you have a chance of licking cancer. Every time Annette and I go to Florida, we go back to that little island in the middle of the New River where we wrote "We Shall Return." Annette, with a stick, draws a heart in the sand and puts in our initials, the date, and writes, "We did return. And we shall continue to return."